It's great that you chose the number twelve for the amount of flies, but you could have pushed it a tad further. Perhaps finding a way to number them would be a neat addition. Anyways! This is creative, as usual, from you. Well done!
Not very good. All you did here is stick the word "time" next to some flies. In fact, there is no apparent relation between the word and the flies. Where is your imagination? Draw a fly with a pocket watch or something. But this... is just boring :/